Sixteen Military Wives
From Videoville
artist: The Decemberists
director: Aaron Stewart-Ahn
label: Kill Rock Stars
year: 2005
antville post
awards
2006 Plug Awards - Music Video of the Year
treatment
EXT. PREP SCHOOL
The facade of the stately academy
TITLE CARD: BARGER ROTHERY ACADEMY
INT. PREP SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
TITLE CARD: HENRY STOWECROFT -
Colin dressed in a prep school uniform - saunters down the hall in slow motion. Drums kick in: he is joined and flanked by flunkies dressed in the same blazer. Outside large double doors they stop. In CU they all pin American Flag pins to their lapels.
INT. PREP SCHOOL GYMNASIUM - DAY
Students seated at tables across the breadth of the gymnasium floor (which in reality is only like 16 tables), each one with a miniature flag on the corner of their desk representing a country.
TITLE CARD: THE MODEL UNITED NATIONS
Henry strides in, nodding to himself.
TITLE CARD: REPRESENTING THE UNITED STATES
One of his friends pulls his seat out for him as he is seated at a desk in front of all the others, with a large American flag on the corner of the desk. Henry sits and looks at papers nonchalantly. His friends stand at attention next to him. One pours a glass of water for him. He steels himself and looks out at all the other model nations with squinted eyes. Smaller flags for other countries flank the American flag. Henry calls the session to order with a bash of the gavel and singing:
At: Cause America can and America can't say no...
INT. FANCY ASS CAR DEALERSHIP - OMIT
EXT. PREP SCHOOL - BEHIND SHED
Tracking back behind the shed where Henry's goons all sit on BMX bikes. They play cards and one runs a switchblade comb through his hair.
TITLE CARD:
HENRY'S COALITION REPRESENTED
CU on a squinty tough guy kid.
MAURITIUS
CU on an Asian guy with slicked back hair.
KOREA
CU on an guy with a ruddy face and freckles, rolling dice.
AND POLAND.
INT. MODEL UN GYMNASIUM
Pushing in on a desk where NATE sits with a slight grin on his face, French flag on the corner of his desk, beautiful girl sitting next to him. He is nonchalant and smug.
TITLE CARD:
REPRESENTING FRANCE
HENRY'S ACADEMIC RIVAL, JUDE
EXT. FIELD
Jude jogs by as girls cheer him on.
INT. CLASSROOM - MAY OMIT
Jude and Henry raise hands to answer a question a teacher asks. The teacher picks Jude.
INT. HALLWAY
Jude bumps into Henry and sends his books flying to the floor. Jude turns around, hands in pockets, giggles, and carries on.
INT. MODEL UN GYMNASIUM
Jenny sits doe eyed and dreamy, looking at Henry. She has the flag for Ireland on her desk.
TITLE CARD: REPRESENTING THE NEUTRAL COUNTRY OF IRELAND
MOLLY CURTAIN
EXT. FIELD
As Jude jogs by Molly cheers him on, appropriately enough dressed as a cheerleader. Several attractive girls in tracksuits jog with Jude and they all ignore her.
TITLE CARD: MOLLY COMPRISED THE ENTIRETY OF THE CHEER SQUAD AT THE ELITE SCHOOL
INT. BAND PRACTICE ROOM
Molly sits at an organ and hammers away in reverie, fingers in time to the song.
TITLE CARD: IN HER SPARE TIME SHE WROTE PROTEST SONGS ON THE ORGAN
INT. MODEL UN GYMNASIUM
Molly sits staring dreamily at Henry.
TITLE CARD: AND SHE HARBORED A SECRET CRUSH ON HENRY.
Tracking to the side now... And further back... In the deepest corner of the room. A very nerdy Funk in an ill fitting uniform. He has the flag for Luxembourg on his desk.
TITLE CARD: REPRESENTING LUXEMBOURG
CARL WIEDERMAN
EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS
Carl stares dreamily at a tree.
TITLE CARD: NOBODY KNEW MUCH ABOUT CARL
INT. AV CLUB ROOM
A room full of archaic video equipment. At a very chintzy desk sits JOHN dressed as stereotypical reporter - i.e. his school uniform with a trenchcoat on and a fedora with a tag that says PRESS on it. For some reason he has a moustache. A very weedy kid counts down from 3 and points at him.
TITLE CARD: JACK WANTED TO BE A REPORTER.
VERY BADLY.
A cheesy video superimposition as Jack is on the school TV station, with a graphic saying "IMPORTANT MODEL UN DECLARATION TODAY!" behind him.
INT. MODEL UN GYMNASIUM
Jack stands in the corner with a microphone. The weedy kid points a video camera at him and Jack begins to rattle off.
Henry's goon pulls the chair from behind him. He stands. The little American flag on his desk ripples in a nonexistent wind.
Henry squints again at Jude. Stares right him. Starts delivering a speech.
All the kids put on headphones. An interpeter stands at Henry's side and whispers into a microphone.
Cutting across the kids faces as Henry speaks. A drape comes down from the chalkboard behind him, upon which is a generic graph showing reasons for declaring war. Henry gestures towards it.
Subtitles:
America has been betrayed by France one too many times. They have attacked us, pilloried our good character, spread rumors about us. We have no further choice. We declare war.
THE WORDS WAR FILL THE SCREEN
WAR
And Henry points as we smash zoom into him.
And whip pan over to Carl, very surprised by all this attention. Reverse angle on the entire room looking at Carl.
Subtitle as Henry speaks: ON LUXEMBOURG!
Henry's goons pull riot shield and batons from under the table and charge Carl.
Henry starts singing in time:
At: Cause American can and American can't say no.
Jude looks puzzled. Molly looks aghast. Jack steps in front of Henry and starts gesticulating wildly, the story of his career. Henry starts slapping him upside the head. Jack just brushes it off annoyed.
Jude walks up to Henry and gives him a "what gives?" look. Henry looks scared and scurries off.
Carl runs for the doors of the gymnasium as Henry's goons hound him.
INT. HALLWAY
Carl peers around a corner.
Henry's goons stand by Henry's side as Henry forces open his locker and they search it.
Henry obviously plants a slingshot on top of some books.
Jump cut as an adult figure opens the locker and finds the slingshot.
TITLE CARD: WEAPONS WERE FOUND
INT. HALLWAY
Kids rushing to class, ducking into doors. Carl looks around for the coast to be clear and heads for his class. Henry's goons step out with their riot shields and block him from coming in.
INT. CAFETERIA
Carl tries to get lunch. The lunch lady refuses to serve him.
TITLE CARD: SANCTIONS HAD BEEN IMPOSED
INT. GYMNASIUM
Carl comes into the latest model UN meeting. Someone is sitting in his chair, wearing an American flag lapel.
TITLE CARD: A NEW DEMOCRATIC LEADER FOR MODEL LUXEMBOURG WAS INSTALLED
EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS
Henry's goons, with gadgets and hardhats, sweep the field.
TITLE CARD: HENRY OPENED THE SCHOOL FIELDS TO OIL PROSPECTING
EXT. SCHOOL ROOFTOP
Henry and his goons up on top. Carl walks out of the school. Down rain water balloons.
TITLE CARD: A BOMBING CAMPAIGN PREVENTED INSURGENCY
EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS - NIGHT
Kids sneak into the gymnasium in the dead of night for an emergency Model UN meeting about America. Chaos reigns and nothing is resolved. Molly shakes her head and walks out of the meeting.
INT. GYMNASIUM
The reporter again, mouthing along to...
La da da da da da da da.
Molly in the hallway, mouthing along...
La da da da da da da da.
INT. BAND PRACTICE ROOM
Carl looks around and sneaks into the room. He picks up a guitar and puts on a Fleetwood Mac album and JAMS in time to the guitar.
The door cracks and Molly peeks in.
TITLE CARD: MOLLY HAD DISCOVERED CARL'S SECRET
HIS WANTON LOVE FOR THE ROCK GUITAR
EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS
Carl stares at the tree again, this time visibly upset. Molly approaches him.
INT. HALLWAY
Henry prowls the halls with his goons. Everyone is scared of him. Even Jude walks away briskly as he approaches. Teachers applaud Henry in slow motion.
TITLE CARD: HENRY BASKED IN HIS NEWFOUND RESPECT
INT. BAND ROOM
Molly furiously writes and writes musical notes on paper while touching keys on a small keyboard.
TITLE CARD: MOLLY WROTE A NEW SONG WITH CARL'S HELP
Panning over to Carl, trying to keep pace with his guitar.
INT. GYMNASIUM
The Model UN convenes again.
Henry does a song and dance as he motions to graphs behind him showing the superiority of American votes in the Model UN, now comprising 89% of all decision making power, all the while singing...
Cause America can and America can't say no... And America does if America says it's so... It's so!
Carl is standing in the middle of the floor directly in front of the American table. Immediately all the other students stand up.
Push in on Carl: La da da da da
Push in on Molly: La da da da da
Push in on the reporter: La da da da da da
Push in on a shocked looking Henry.
Someone throws Carl a guitar -
Molly whips out a keyboard from under her desk.
The reporter pulls a snare drum from within his trenchcoat. Jude whips out a bass and lays it down... Other students in sync pull out horns.
And they assault Henry and his goons at their place at the head of the UN with sound as the song crescendoes. The other students throw wads of paper at an indignant Henry. The wads of paper are relentless and push Henry and his friends back. Henry's friends flee in terror. Henry gets buried in an avalanche of paper.
As the song ends, Henry sits with only his head exposed, the rest of his body buried in paper, as one by one kids leave the room, dropping their flags on him.
Cut to wide, the entire gym empty, the song over. Henry digs himself out of the paper.
